Regenerating and Reconnecting: Poppy Okotcha on Children and Mother Earth

Poppy Okotcha is an ecological home grower and community gardener. She champions regenerative food-growing methods that nurture the environment, prioritizing its health and biodiversity. This radically conscious perspective shifts the narrative of how we interact with nature—something she passionately shares with others, including her young son—bringing one more into the present moment and in touch with the cyclical nature of life.

What do you teach your child about the plants and animals in your garden?

‘We’re still at the stage where he’s just watching and copying us, so I basically try and model a way of interacting with nature that is kind, compassionate, considerate and regular. If I can help him to have a safe relationship with nature from the start, that is half the job done. It’s about trying to teach him about sharing and reciprocity, the cycles of exchange that exist in a garden and in the wider world and how sharing, giving and taking is a part of that.’

What lessons can the seasonality of nature teach us and our children about life?

‘The most obvious and repeated lesson that comes from the garden and the seasons about life is circularity. We see that through the big things like Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, but also in smaller moments: a plant turning to seed, which becomes another plant, which turns to seed again. That circularity runs in the face of a linear worldview that our modern Western culture is governed by, this idea of an end goal that we’re trying to reach. Whereas in the garden and in seasons, we see that it’s more like a constant movement which gives us grace in our day-to-day life. It’s comforting to know that there’s not one end destination and that our failures are just compost. But it also has the power to change the way a culture runs in a less capitalistic, goal-oriented way. Indigenous communities around the world see the world in this way. It’s not new. We just lost it at some point.’

What do you observe when children spend more time in nature or are involved in simple activities such as fruit picking? How do such experiences impact them?

‘For a long time, people have experienced that spending a day in the garden makes them feel well. Many of us have a sense that being outdoors interacting with nature does us good. There’s more and more science coming out to support that and to explain why that is. Essentially being outdoors and amongst the living world calms our nervous system and helps our minds relax in a measurable way. Having a relationship with nature is incredibly soothing. For children, having access to an environment that is soothing helps them regulate. It’s really valuable as they grow and learn to become kind and regulated adults.’

Does your knowledge and perspective on gardening and growing food inform your motherhood?

‘Having a relationship with nature allowed me to trust my animal body to do what it needed to do to become a mother. Motherhood breaks you down and is totally oblivious to the civilized society we now live in. When you’re pregnant and your hormones are going on a crazy roller coaster, your body doesn’t care whether you have a deadline or whether you’re meant to be doing X, Y and Z. It’s focusing on something far more important than this external society structure. It forces us to step into listening to our body. Listening to our bodies is by default listening to nature, because we are nature. When we come to birth, if we don’t have this deep trust in our ability to do the thing, that’s often when problems arise and we end up with potentially harmful interventions for baby and mother. Birth is the most intense, wild experience. It’s not civilized. Having an experience of proximity to the wildness of the world around us, things like mud, blood, death, decay, helped me. The reality is that we are animals, which can be jarring if we have not confronted that truth previously.’

What connections do you see between Mother Earth and motherhood?

‘All around the world, there are folklores or cosmologies which emphasize the parallel between Mother Earth and motherhood. The heritage on my father’s side is Igbo Nigerian. The Igbo have an earth-based animistic faith called Odinala. In Odinala there is a great goddess called Ala. She’s the body of the earth, providing us with our bodies and physical nourishment here. She takes our bodies back into her womb, the earth, when we die and allows us to be reborn, but she’s also the great punisher. When we commit what are called abominations in Odinala, she’s the one who reprimands us and holds us accountable. She’s the creator and the destroyer. That proximity of two juxtaposing concepts feels true to motherhood because it’s not only this incredible life-giving, soft, gentle caring experience, it’s also hard and intense and wild. I also see parallels in how our culture undervalues and exploits “Mother Nature” and also all to often under resources motherhood.’

What simple, actionable steps can parents—especially those in urban settings—take to help their children develop a closer connection with nature?

‘There are ways of encouraging an understanding of the living world that work in every setting. It doesn’t have to be moving to the countryside and living on a farm. Something as simple as a book with a storyline including nature can bring it into their world of understanding. Talking about where food comes from, taking our kids to the farmer’s market so they see that food doesn’t only come from a supermarket shelf. Growing some food if one has space. Even something as simple as growing sprouts on the windowsill teaches children that food grows. The second-best thing is cooking. It means that later on in life not only have they got the resources to feed themselves well, but there’s potentially going to be a curiosity to find out where the food comes from. Much of the language of food transfers into the garden, from the names of fruits and vegetables, to understanding different parts of a plant and seasonality. Community gardens are incredible spaces for mother and baby I’ve found. I find the extended network of caring adults (and other children!), plus gentle but physical tasks outdoors that aren’t mentally taxing, provides an environment that’s nurturing and stimulating for mother and child.’

How can having a relationship with nature help future generations?

‘If we want to safeguard our future on this planet and give our children a lively future, there’s an urgency to teach them a love for nature. My Mom often takes me to these beautiful wildflower meadows she finds when she goes on her walks. When she was a kid, these would have been so loud with insects. Now, they’re all often silent. There’s something dangerous about raising children in a world where they don’t know what they’re missing out on. It’s important that we as parents make a concerted effort to teach them that this isn’t how it should be. We’re stewards of the earth. It’s our responsibility to keep reminding our children that there used to be more life around and show them that we can tend to the land in a way that grows life back again.’

Poppy Okotcha’s book, A Wilder Way: How Gardens Grow Us, a memoir about healing and growth through gardening, is available from Bloomsbury Publishing.

Artwork by Joséphine Klerks