Toward Self-Acceptance: Laxmi Hussain on the Power of the Female Body

London-based artist Laxmi Hussain paints the many forms of the female body in her signature ultramarine blue. Fascinated by her body’s changes during pregnancy and postpartum, this transformation and motherhood remain Laxmi’s main inspirations for creative expression. A mother of three, her art explores identity, memory, and womanhood.

If you could introduce the story of artist Laxmi Hussain to the Artipoppe community, where would you say it began, and how did it evolve?

I was really young when I started drawing. I spent countless hours on the counter of my parents’ corner shop sketching. By the time I was a teenager, I was already quite interested in the body from an artistic perspective. I explored it further during my degree in architecture, which just continued in an even more in-depth manner through pregnancy and postpartum. The more I did it, the more it grew into something far beyond just me documenting changes in bodies. Women started approaching me to share how my art empowered them. I learned the power of this work, as it helped shift how people view themselves, which in turn continues to fuel my creative explorations. The roots behind this creative focus started in childhood.

As a chubby child, family members often poked, teased, and told me not to eat stuff… I grew up quite self-aware. I remember feeling horrible about my body and choosing not to wear the clothes I wanted to wear. For the longest time, even as an adult, I didn’t feel I was worthy enough. This continued into pregnancy and postpartum. We women are made to think that our bodies shouldn’t change, that after pregnancy, we’re supposed to go back to what we were. But why aren’t we appreciating this evolution? We bring children into the world (and even if we don’t, our bodies do incredible things!). After becoming a mother, I was like: I can’t constantly live like this. I didn’t want to feel like, after everything I’ve done, everything my body has been through, that I’m somehow unworthy. Having a daughter also made a huge difference. I didn’t want her to grow into this person constantly ridiculing her body. Not that I have completely outgrown that through my work, but I now see it as a valuable part of me, regardless of what it looks like. I’m appreciative of the parts of me, which usually others would find unattractive. It’s mine. There is tremendous relief and power in loving the body in its entirety. Simultaneously, it’s rewarding to see my daughter, who has a very similar body shape to me as a child—she is so outgoing and stylish. She is embracing herself in ways I never did as a child—that makes me proud.

Your work symbolically connects you and your daughter, as well as your mother–three generations of women. Tell us more about that.

My mom and I were incredibly close. She was from the Philippines and my dad from India. Mom came from a very poor background and left her home to come to the UK looking for better opportunities. Then, throughout her life, she supported her family back home—an incredible thing to see. She gave us everything, even though we didn’t have a lot. We went to work with her, very much like my children have come to work with me when they were little. She inspired my work in many ways, through the stories she told and how tactful and creative she was…she just had a certain way of doing things. Everything about how I nurture and grow my children is because of her. Even in my work, my signature color—the ultramarine blue—is because of her. In my earliest memory from when I was five, I see her at this place in the Philippines and she is wearing head-to-toe blue. It was a lovely day of outing with her family where the two of us were really bonding. Only after she passed away, I realized that in most of my memories of her, she’s wearing blue. After she got sick in late 2017, for the last few months of her life, I took on a small studio halfway between the hospital and home. I just became obsessed with blue, and I couldn’t put my finger on it until she died. When my sister sent me this photo she had of her from that day in the Philippines, all in blue, it clicked. Painting in this color became a way of me honoring her.

Creative expression is at the core of how you move through life. Is this something you are actively trying to foster in your children?

The thing about fostering creativity is not trying to foster it. I always give my children the tools to explore but did not force it. In balancing their needs and mine, they came with me to the studio a lot (especially my youngest) and were all aware of what my work was from a young age. In the process, they’ve all chosen artistic journeys of their own. My daughter really loves making things and painting. But I’ve never spurred that on her because it really is such a personal journey. It has to be something one chooses for oneself. I’m a real advocate of art as a powerful avenue for well-being, so I’ve always got them the tools and let them explore for themselves.

Given that work and motherhood are quite intertwined in your case, do you ever need to step away from both and do something entirely different for yourself as an act of self-care?

Yes! I go to the gym a lot. I do a lot of weight training. I’ve never done that so seriously before, but for the last three years, I’ve grown to absolutely love it. It’s incredible that you can go from lifting no weights to lifting something comparable to your own body weight. And to see that slow progression, feel stronger, see your body change shape because it’s got better strength… I also notice all the other things: I’m happier, more comfortable, and more flexible. I can nearly do pull-ups by myself! My mom had menopause early, and I’m about to turn 41, thinking that perhaps awaits just around the corner. I feel like if I start doing these things for myself now, maybe menopause and growing older will be easier. I just want to do whatever I can to be as fit and healthy for as long as possible. That’s self-care for me.

Lastly, what practice would you suggest to all those now pregnant or in postpartum journeys as a means of connecting to or appreciating the power of their body more?

I think it’s really important to just look at your body. We’d be surprised how many of us still shy away from looking at certain parts of ourselves. Maybe even try a life drawing class. They are so fun and accessible nowadays. Just seeing different bodies actually changes your mindset of how you view your own. During my last pregnancy, I was the most comfortable I’d ever been in my own skin. I took photographs of my body and asked a photographer to do it as well—there were close-ups and far-away pics… I did this just because, one, I wanted to remember it and, two, I wanted to appreciate what was going on. I wanted to feel like I actually looked at myself properly and admired my body for what it was doing. It was a beautiful way to have my last baby. It brought me peace through self-acceptance. It was liberating. This is why I would recommend witnessing the body and its evolution to all women, in hopes that it brings a profound sense of freedom and self-love to them as well.