Motherhood On Your Own Terms with Annie Ridout

Annie is a renowned freelance journalist, nonfiction author, and poet based in London. A mom of three, she has amassed a massive global readership and also coaches and ghostwrites for the stars. One of her viral poems includes the vulnerable, boundary-setting “I’ve just had a baby.” She talks to us about freelance life, spiritual intelligence, and her motherhood journey.

Annie, you’ve achieved remarkable success across various fields over the years. Underlining your creative versatility, how would you define yourself and your work?

I would say I’m a storyteller at heart. I trained as a journalist and started my career writing articles for newspapers and magazines. I love interviewing women, helping them tell their stories, and writing first-person thought pieces. After my first baby came along, I launched an online magazine and off the back of that, I was offered my first book deal to write The Freelance Mum (a guide to going freelance after kids). A year later, I wrote Shy (reframing shyness as an attribute), and last year, my book Raise Your SQ (spiritual intelligence) was published. Alongside writing books, articles and weekly Substack essays (one, Annie Ridout, is for telling my own story, another, Raising Neurodivergence, is about raising neurodivergent children and a third, The Robora is about business), I write poetry that seems to be popular online and sometimes goes viral.

Your poem “I’ve Just Had a Baby” poignantly reminds us of new mothers’ needs. What inspired this piece?

When I became a mother for the first time, I felt this intuitive understanding about what my baby and I needed but the noise of other people’s opinions sometimes got in the way of that. I wrote the poem so that other women might feel they had permission to go at their own pace and to ask those around them for support and nourishment. Postnatal recovery is so important but many (myself included, the first time around) rush to ‘get back into shape’ and meet other new moms. When I had my next two babies, I spent time resting and recovering. Those were some of the loveliest weeks of my life: curled on the sofa, feeding a newborn, eating chocolate biscuits, and drinking milky drinks. I adored that time. So, this poem was a reflection on what the postnatal period might look like.

Tell us more about your motherhood experience and the work-life rebalancing you had to achieve after becoming a mom.

It’s a process of constant renegotiation and adaptation. I always wanted to be a mom, so I was delighted when my daughter came along, but I also didn’t want to give my career up. I decided I’d design my life in a way that meant I could be at home with my baby but also work creatively. There were many stressful points where I needed more childcare help but couldn’t yet afford it, and maybe felt guilty for even thinking I needed it, so I’d work when my baby napped. But in time, I let go of the guilt and sent my daughter to nursery two days a week, where she thrived. Those two days were more productive than any other work days I’d had before children. I loved them. When my second baby arrived, I had a newborn and a toddler and felt quite anxious at points because I was now running my online platform, and again, I didn’t want to let it go. By the time I had my third baby, I had launched an online course business that became very successful very quickly. My husband quit his job to help me run it. There was a rather harmonious balance, during this period, as we shared the childcare, cooking, and housework. But then the pandemic hit and it all got quite claustrophobic. In time, my husband started working out of the home, and I paused the courses, though I have more recently started dipping back into that world and it feels really exciting. Since May, I’ve been home-educating one of my three children, so I’m adapting, once again, to respond to his needs. Thankfully, my writing and online courses can work alongside this new chapter of motherhood.

Many associate stability with a traditional 9-to-5 job, yet you’ve embraced the freelance world. Could you share more about it?

I like working alone, from home, so freelancing suits me. The benefits are the agility: you have an idea and you can run with it, without having to ‘check in’ with a boss or team members. I love that. Also, the freedom to have days off whenever you want/need. I like not having anyone hovering over me. The challenges: income can be unpredictable. Also, maybe there’s sometimes too much choice in terms of what you could be doing. With employment, you go in knowing what your job is each day. With freelancing, you could do admin, accounts, creative work, client work. My book, The Freelance Mum, goes into detail on this and helped thousands of women launch their freelance careers. My advice for moms thinking of doing it is: first, think about the lifestyle you’re after. Are you looking to be closer to home? Are you happy working alone? Are you self-motivated? If yes, look at whether your current career translates to freelance work, or decide if you’d like to do something completely different.

Personal growth is a significant part of your life; you even coach others in this area. What grounding practices help you maintain presence and mindfulness throughout the day?

I love putting my thoughts down on paper. So, if I’m panicked about money, for instance, I’ll get out a notebook and write about my concerns. And I’ll write what I’d like to see happen. Then, I’ll do some number-crunching and I always realize that everything is going to be fine. I do a gratitude practice, most days, to help me focus on the beautiful aspects of my life, rather than the challenges. And I use my own form of prayer to give thanks. I write more extensively about this in my book Raise Your SQ to help with mindset and focusing on what you want. Spirituality is so important to me in my everyday life (I was raised in a spiritual home), and during the pandemic, I started using spiritual tools to help me grow my business. I saw firsthand just how powerful they can be and love teaching others about it.

If you could reach into the past and speak to Annie before she achieved global acclaim and became a mother, what would you tell her?

I’d tell her there will always be ups and downs. In the past, when I’ve been riding high, I’ve been quite startled when things have then taken a downturn. And then delighted when they lift, again. This will continue to happen throughout life, so to hold that wisdom close is my message to past me and to others.

I’ve just had a baby

I’ve just had a baby –

don’t expect too much of me.

Invite me, but don’t be annoyed if I say no.

For days, weeks, months.

I’ll come when I can; when we’re ready.

If you ask to visit and I hesitate,

please take that as a polite “no” (not yet).

But if I’m indecisive, gentle persuasion might be

just what I need.

A quick visit, a cup of tea, talking about the

world outside of my cocoon.

Company is important but so is rest.

I might appear selfish but I need to be:

right now, it’s about me, my baby and my body.

If I push myself to please other people

I’ll break down in both body and mind.

I need time, love, care, nurturing, support, understanding.

No negativity, judgement or expectation.

I’ve just had a baby.

Annie Ridout

substack.com/@annieridout