On the Joy and Freedom of Being Who You Are with Gaïa Orgeas

Gaïa, a French native, lives in London with her partner Kyle, their two sons, and her two stepsons. Between being a full-time mom, she finds time to model for the world’s most exclusive brands, who love her authenticity and unique, edgy appeal. But what she really wants to do is fill the world with love. 

On radiating a sense of freedom
‘I don’t come from money. My parents’ way of giving was through loving. I see love as the premise of freedom. As soon as you feel it, you are free. When I was first asked to do modeling, I said no, because I was not from this world. For me, it looked like glitter and money, extravagance and being blonde. But when I moved to Paris to study and had to pay rent, my parents couldn’t help so I decided to give modeling a try. I wasn’t confident at all. I’m still not! People might look at my social media and think, “Oh wow, she’s daring and super sure of herself,” but I know what’s happening inside. I have a lot of work to do still. Since becoming a mom, my confidence has grown. Now I share on Instagram and don’t care if people unfollow, judge, or block me because I posted a picture with a little breast when breastfeeding. That’s my freedom.’

On being vulnerable
‘Vulnerability, when you accept and show it, is a form of confidence. It’s something I do very well, although, as I said, I don’t consider myself a confident person. I have friends with kids who think you shouldn’t cry in front of them or show too much emotion. But I don’t want to hide my emotions. They make me who I am and show my children that they can express their emotions as well. If they want to cry, go for it, cry. If they want to be angry, get at me. When you’re a kid, you can’t express yourself properly yet. Emotions go in all directions and that’s fine. You can explain and try to talk about it afterward.’

On staying true to yourself
‘What kept me working as a model for all these years, pregnant or not pregnant, tired or not tired, period or no period, is my authenticity. Being the person I am, sometimes innocent, never arrogant, true to myself, chatty, happy, bringing some light to a shitty day, trying to treat everyone as equal. The more you treat people the way you want to be treated, the better. My father is responsible for my authenticity because he pushed me to express myself, saying there’s no shame in being who you are. He got sick when I was pregnant with Sylvester and it was super tough because I brought a little boy to earth who would never have a granddad from my side. But it also reconnected me to who I was. A part of me is gone while another part is growing, discovering the world without him.’

On mother-daughter relationships
‘I have a really special, chaotic, beautiful relationship with my mother. It’s an interesting dynamic, especially since we lost my dad – he was the foundation, keeping everything together. Now it’s just us women: emotional and sometimes dramatic. I always considered my mom a superhero because she had such a horrible childhood. She’s Korean, was adopted and a lot of things happened to her that shouldn’t happen in anyone’s life. But during all these years she did what she had to do with a smile, looking after my sister and me, protecting and loving us no matter what. I know who she is, she knows who I am, we know what we’ve been through, and I’m forever grateful for that.’

On the healing power of motherhood
‘I’ve always wanted to be a young mother. If I could have had my sons earlier than 26, I would have. This feeling of love and sharing – it’s something words can’t explain. Sylvester is the person who helped me go through the worst of times because my dad was my best friend, the first man in my life, the love of my life in a way. My dad was everything to me in the sense that he was such an interesting character, an authentic person, inspiring… He knew me by heart. And Sylvester made me go through this moment of mourning peacefully. I didn’t do grieving on my own. I did it with Sylvester. He contributed to my happiness in these dark times. Knowing that you have someone so innocent and pure by your side as you go through immense pain is incredibly comforting and healing.’

On trust, honesty, and love in parenting
‘Me and my sister saw things we should have never seen as children. We heard and experienced things that I don’t wish for anyone. I’ve forgiven my parents for their mistakes because when you love, that’s what you do. You forget, you forgive, you accept, you keep going. That’s what I want for my kids too. To feel confident enough to keep going. I want them to be able to say no, to have a voice, to express themselves, to fight back. But I also want them to stay innocent their entire lives. To cherish who they are. To never be ashamed of their taste or the way they dress. I got bullied when I was a kid. It was so hard to be the only half-Asian girl in school, in the middle of a white countryside. My grandparents didn’t even have pictures of my sister, my mom, and me in the house because we looked “too Asian.” I want my kids to be proud of who they are. I don’t want them to be ashamed. They are who they are. Independent and free. I know I won’t be able to always protect them. But if they can trust us (parents) and there’s honesty and love, I can help them go through life.’

On the joy of walking alone
‘As much as I love my kids, having time for myself is essential for me. What I love to do is go on long walks alone. And my evening showers. Every single night, after putting the kids down, I have the longest shower ever. This moment, to me, is gold – pure joy. My whole body relaxes from head to toe. The simplest things are often the most important for our well-being and happiness.’

On wanting people to be filled with love
‘Since becoming a mother, I want to be with my children as much as possible. But when my boys get a bit bigger, I would like to work for a non-profit organization, focused on the well-being of kids or animals. It’s something that nurtures me because I think no one should ever be alone. I want to help others feel loved and important. This likely stems from my childhood. So much was happening at our house when I was growing up that I often withdrew, not wanting to cause problems. Despite feeling loved, I also felt deeply alone. I feel this way even now sometimes, even though I am forever grateful for the roof over our heads, my beautiful healthy children, food on our plates, our pet on my feet… I’m coming to terms with the past. I know I have to work on myself because if my kids see me happy, they are going to be in a good place, too. From there, I can spread love even further.’